The light at the end of the tunnel is now visible with SHADES OF DOUBT. As I have yet to edit the first draft and decide whether I’m going traditional or indie again, no release date has been configured yet. My best guess is possibly Fall 2015, but we’ll see what life throws at me 🙂
It’s a surreal thing to pretend this is a normal evening by going through the usual motions of preparing for a date, but nothing is normal about this; nothing can be normal again. I never considered how the court of public opinion might be a rape victim’s only hope of justice, if she realizes she’s been raped at all. I never thought it would be such a difficult process to even comprehend that it happened. A few months ago, “I didn’t know I was raped” sounded as ludicrous as being “just a little bit” pregnant – you either are, or you aren’t; it happened, or it didn’t. The thought of a woman just not knowing strained credibility. It defied everything I thought I knew about common sense, about being able to read people’s motives and intentions if you looked closely enough. If you saw what was plain and obvious in front of you, and not what you’d prefer to see.
Almost ten years later, I still think about that night with [character name removed to prevent spoiler], and how it never felt right. It was disappointing, to say the least, but that’s not unusual for a teenage girl’s first time. It was disappointing because I expected to be taken care of, and that trust was gravely misplaced. All these years I berated the naiveté of teenage Addie, for being so idealistic and stupid. But that blame was also misplaced.
Normal women who have been jilted and broken-hearted binge on ice cream and Netflix for a weekend, sob with their girlfriends, and talk about how undeserving the guy is, how she’s better off without him. The average jilted woman doesn’t make a public accusation of rape.