If he were my son, I’d put the cuffs on him myself

josh-duggarThe newest TLC reality show featuring the infamous Duggar family is called “Breaking the Silence,” referring to the recent discovery of molestation committed by Josh, the oldest Duggar child, against his own sisters. The original show that made them famous, 19 Kids and Counting, has been cancelled, but I guess the network just can’t bring itself to part with its biggest cash cow yet. It’s also more than a little ironic that the title “Breaking the Silence” is referring to a family that went out of its way to cover up the abuse, and only issued half-assed not-pologies when they couldn’t hide it any longer.

I learned something throughout this entire “scandal.” I learned how many people, my own Facebook friends included, know shockingly little about sex abuse. What it is: a crime. And what it isn’t: a “teenage mistake,” an expression that’s been thrown around quite a bit, as if molesting your sibling is on par with breaking a window playing baseball or staying out past curfew. Those are things that normal teenagers do.

But the biggest shock for me was the outrage after I commented (unwisely, I know) on a related article that if Josh Duggar were my son, I would put the handcuffs on him myself.

Is it necessary for me to have children of my own to understand that helping them hide from the consequences of their actions isn’t helping them at all? Why is the future of an outed sex offender more important than the future of a victim who has been shamed into silence? To ask, “What would you do if it were your son?” is the wrong question. If you are outraged at the thought of someone wrongly touching your child, then you know reporting the offender is the right thing to do. Frankly, I’m a little concerned about the number of people who seem to put image above justice. How many people are aware that letting justice be served is a form of love?

I know a family in which the kid caught with drugs was denied bail by his parents, who wanted him to spend a night in jail to fully comprehend the magnitude of his decision. On a lesser scale, I was raised in a home where we lost privileges for breaking the rules no matter how “sorry” we said we were. We were old enough to have rules, and therefore old enough to choose to break them. At fourteen years of age, why do we act like Josh Duggar shouldn’t have known better than to hurt someone?

Love may be tough, but it doesn’t enable.


8 thoughts on “If he were my son, I’d put the cuffs on him myself

  1. New information has been released that he sexually abused his 5yo sister over SEVEN times, so to claim it as a ‘mistake’ is a gross misnomer, especially because he also abused other girls as well.

    Duggar parents should be held responsible for knowingly allowing this behavior to continue in their home and not stopping it for almost two years, because at the time, Joshie was a minor. Now that he’s a man and father, he needs to surrender himself and serve time. That’s what a man would do.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Compassionate Love and commented:
    Sex offenders, cheaters, porn-addicted people, and others will make myriad excuses for their behavior. Most often, I’ve heard in Christian circles the lament “It’s just so hard for men these days.”

    I am a Christian- an imperfect woman who strives to be open and honest abourt her weaknesses and faults. I know that making excuses is simply a way of quieting the guilt pangs, staying out of trouble, and continuing in whatever behavior is damning.

    I used to believe people’s excuses, but have learned that sex addicts of any form are especially versed in stating their cases. They are proficient liars, practicing it every day to keep up a pretense and to avoid getting caught.

    Anna Duggar is not alone when it comes to having a Christian husband who deceives his wife and lives a secret sex life outside the marriage. Josh Duggar is not alone in being so vocal about family values in a sorry attempt at covering his behaviors and sporting a respectable image.

    I am reblogging the following article because this writer, Beth Caplin, states very well how helping an offender in his excuses and claims of rehabilitation is foolish. Do I believe God can change people? Yes, absolutely. Through his Son Jesus, and in direct correlation with our repentance (change in behavior, not just being sorry), he will make his children new. I cannot with a wide brush condemn everyone who has chosen a sexually deviant and unfaithful life. My point is that we should not be so quick to believe established liars when they claim “lost control” or “something came over me” or “it’s an addiction and I can’t help it.”

    There are victims in each case, often a wife, possibly children, and the sexual offender will also pay a price eventually.



  3. Frankly, I’m a little concerned about the number of people who seem to put image above justice.

    I think you’re probably giving them more credit than they deserve. I think to a lot of people, what matters is that Josh is male and his victims are female.


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