I learned a long time ago that “resolutions” for the new year are kind of pointless. “Resolution” sounds like “promise,” and breaking a promise invokes all sorts of judgment – mostly from myself. So I have more of a theme for 2016. We’ll see if that works any better (though I briefly considered making “take less selfies with my cats” a resolution…but let’s not get crazy).
My theme is pretty simple: be willing to be surprised.
I was talking with a friend this week that I look to as sort of a mentor. She already wrote a blog post on the idea of “Christian agnosticism” before I thought to bring it up in conversation. I loosely define that expression, oxymoronic as it sounds, as someone who believes in Jesus but doesn’t understand much of anything else pertaining to the Christian faith. I have an unsettling feeling that this is the uneven ground I’ve landed on, and may be camping out here for a while…or maybe I won’t. I want my faith to still grow. I’m willing to be surprised.
I have this dichotomy in my head of Safe Christians and Unsafe Christians. The “safe” Christians are the ones who listen without judgment, and may disagree with me on many levels, but seek to understand. The “unsafe” Christians are the ones who judge, condemn, and berate anyone who believes differently than they do. I’ve formed ideas of who in my church is “unsafe” and it has occurred to me that those judgments could be completely off base. So I’m willing to be surprised.
For the last several months, I’ve been afraid to open my bible, afraid of having anxiety triggered by what I read in there. But, I’m willing to be surprised by the content once again. Surprised, enlightened, who knows…I’ll aim for “surprised,” for now.
As for prayer, that, too has gone by the wayside. I’ve given up on praying for things beyond my control, knowing God has a plan that’s going to happen regardless, so what is the point? At the very least, I need to get back to writing in my prayer journal, even if it’s mostly rants…and be willing to be surprised.
What about you? Is there anything you hope to be “surprised” by this year?