More lessons my father taught me

See also: Lessons my father taught me

I was going to post this on my father’s birthday, February 9th, but one of the biggest lies I’ve ever told myself as a writer is that I will remember my ideas without having to write them down. I was reminded of something funny my dad said when scrolling through newsfeed on Facebook, and then I thought…why not write a post of memorable Dad Quotes? (As best as I remember them, anyway)

Granted, there were many hilarious and occasionally poignant things he said over the 25 years that I knew him, but here are just a handful of recent ones. You will understand where my snark comes from:

After setting up his Facebook account and scrolling through his home page: “Why are all these people posting pictures of what they ate, and telling me what they did at every hour? Do they really think I care?” He turns to me: “I know you’re my kid, and therefore everything you do is unique and amazing, but I hope you don’t posts things like this. Because no one actually gives a shit.”

When caught dancing and singing in front of the stove cooking dinner, using the ladle as a microphone: “If you’re going to do something, why not be silly about it?”

On making the most of hardship: “I’m learning how to make fertilizer out of this shit.”

On giving compliments: “You’re the ribbit to my frog, Whipper Snipper.”

On parenting: “Sometimes you and your brother act like dumbasses, but you’re my dumbasses.”

On marriage: “I don’t care if you marry someone Jewish or not, just make sure whoever he is can lovingly poke fun at you with sarcasm.”

Happy (early) 60th, Papasaurus!



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