Response to a misogynist who claims sex toys = satanism

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“Too many Christian women are losing their salvation because they masturbate. Dildos and all of those other sex toys have been used for thousands of years in demonic sex rituals. It’s one of the main ways ancient pagan societies worshiped their demonic gods.
Masturbation is a direct path to Satan. There’s nothing normal about it. And shame on any Christian that says so.” (Read more here)

Dear Eden Decoded,

First of all, I must compliment you on your choice of photography to accompany your Facebook post. Did you download that picture from a photo stock website, or did you photograph it in person? If the latter, please let me know where I can find this magic garden of penises, because it looks downright enchanting.

Now, on to the content of your actual post. First of all, I am not aware of any Bible verse that says “Thou shalt not use sex toys.” Is this PSA for single or married women (and why did you only address it to women, anyway? Did you mean to imply that male masturbation is totes okay with God?)? You didn’t specify, so I’m going to assume you’re addressing both demographics. But what if a husband and wife engage in this practice because it’s the only way the wife gets any enjoyment out of sex? Asking for a friend.

My guess, however, is that you’re not all that concerned about what the woman feels during sex. Maybe you think that sex for pleasure and not procreation is a sin as well (in which case, you’re gonna be really shocked by the Song of Songs in the Old Testament). The thing is, ED, that sex SHOULD be an act of bonding and intimacy for married couples. You may or may not be aware that sex, for many women, is a highly unpleasant experience. Not all women are able to orgasm via intercourse, and no matter how much lubricant is used, it can still feel like attempting to slide down a water slide without water. Hence why sex toys can be, er, helpful.

Is this too graphic for you? Sorry, but Christians aren’t doing anyone any favors by not discussing the reality of sex: it’s a bone of contention (snicker, snicker) for many couples when they find out that abstinence until the wedding night doesn’t guarantee fireworks. Couples who are not advised to communicate and experiment in the bedroom will have problems. Maybe in your world, abstinence is all it takes to have magic sex, but reality disagrees with that notion. Therefore, I have to assume you are male, because honestly? Lack of sensitivity for women who find intercourse painful or unpleasant is such a typical man thing.

Many people, Christian and otherwise, would call that “sexist.” And I must inform you, ED, that sexism is probably a much more direct path to satan than couples using sex toys.

Sincerely,

A sex-positive, married Christian

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About Beth Caplin

Just an author, blogger, and editor working hard so my cats can have a better life.
This entry was posted in Feminism, Theology and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Response to a misogynist who claims sex toys = satanism

  1. Thank you for this. I read it to my husband and we really enjoyed your writing! We both had a good giggle. I would love to visit the enchanting penis garden too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. satanicviews says:

    What an individual does with their own body, or with the body of another consenting adult is sacred to them, and no concern to a religious freak, god or church. As a Satanist I argue that self is the primary authority in their own life, including of their own body.

    Once an individual chooses to allow a repressed set of religious people to define their own feelings and attitudes about their body, and what they can and can’t do with their body, they have effectively given ownership of their own body to other people, and probably a lot of other important things like choice, liberty and will to them as well. Such religious people often are never as white and innocent as they seem, too many discovered to be participating in the very acts they condemn, or worse sexual misconduct involving children.

    Like

  3. Am I Thirty? says:

    I am sorry that I doubted you for a second but I actually had to look up Eden Decoded on FB cause I just did not believe that post could be real. Everything about that post is pure gold. The fact that only women are losing their salvation for masturbating. Sex toys are for demonic rituals. And the photo! OMG! Your response back was amazing. It sucks that there aren’t more level-headed Christians like you writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. nessa3 says:

    thanks that was great….I always heard that masturbation was a sin…They get that from the old testament where this guy marries his brothers wife and refuses to give her an heir…instead masturbates and spills his seed on the ground…….which I believe its about him not giveing her an heir not about masturbating

    Like

  5. Wes says:

    I totally thought it was satire for a little while. That is a deep rabbit hole. Check his other content. I tried to google image that image from my phone but couldn’t get it up. ;). I wondered where he pulled it from.

    Like

  6. Sana says:

    I love the dildo garden.

    Like

  7. Jade & Rikki says:

    YASSSSS!!! My husband and I were just discussing this article this morning! You hit the nail on the head 🙂 Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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