There are a few clubs I’ve been forced to join against my will: The fatherless daughters club. The sexual assault survivors club. And now, the miscarriage club. *** When my depression and trauma were at their worst, I actually felt angry with my parents for trying so hard to have me. I’m the fourth child… Continue reading Grief is the currency of love
Category: Grief/Mental Health
I had a daughter
Josh was far more optimistic than I was about trying for a baby. Doctors had told me a while ago that, due to prior health issues, the odds of conceiving were not in my favor. I went into this next venture fully convinced it would never happen. Imagine the depth of my shock and joy… Continue reading I had a daughter
He stood at the gallows and had the last laugh
Excerpted from my essay collection, Things You Can’t Un-see For as long as I can remember, every morning my father made my mother coffee. Contrary to stereotype, my mother was completely inept with everything in the kitchen, including the coffee maker as old as their marriage. That coffee pot symbolized to me everything a good… Continue reading He stood at the gallows and had the last laugh
Miracles and other messy things
This is a rare, vulnerable post for me. Generally, my rule about writing on personal topics is, “Don’t share until you’ve processed with the Lord and the people in your inner circle first.” Well, I’ve been processing for most of the year, and I can’t say I’m more resolved now than I was at the… Continue reading Miracles and other messy things
What Jesus taught me about trauma
“If you’re still dealing with trauma and depression, what does that say about Jesus?” This was said to me by a colleague in one of my seminary classes – a counseling seminary class. That was ten years ago, and I still think about it. Unfortunately, it’s not an isolated opinion. I’ve encountered many Christians who… Continue reading What Jesus taught me about trauma
The Handmaid’s Tale and the meaning of justice
Warning: this post contains spoilers for The Handmaid’s Tale season 4 finale. The Hulu series The Handmaid’s Tale didn’t start to resonate with me on a personal level until season 4. For me the show is pure “Things could always be worse” escapist fantasy (yes, I am a weirdo who watches dystopian TV in order… Continue reading The Handmaid’s Tale and the meaning of justice
Memo for a weary world
I used to joke that if you ever want to know what loneliness feels like, try being a Jew at Christmas. But now there’s a new version of the joke that’s a lot less funny: if you want to know what loneliness feels like, try being in the midst of a pandemic during the holiday… Continue reading Memo for a weary world
Redeeming September 25th
September 25th is a dark day in my life. I was sitting at my father's hospital bed with my mom and brother, watching as his breathing grew more labored until, finally, he stopped altogether. David Joseph Caplin died at around 11am on the morning of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, 2014. Not long before… Continue reading Redeeming September 25th