In many ways, the “Same, Lindsay” trend is the latest manifestation of "Mama needs wine" culture. At best, it's an attempt to empathize with the very real struggles of motherhood and postpartum depression. But it falls far short of that. Is it relatable? You bet. But is it actually helpful? Hell no. This is not… Continue reading “Mama needs wine.” No, Mama needs to get off social media
Tag: grief
The beautifully complex legacy of David
A woman at church asked me recently if David was a family name. I said my son is named for his grandfather, who died three months before I got married. I always knew if I had a son, I’d give him the name David: not just to honor my dad, but also because it represents… Continue reading The beautifully complex legacy of David
How does anyone survive the unthinkable?
I was pregnant when the attacks of October 7th happened; postpartum one year later; and am pregnant once more on this two-year anniversary. That is to say, I’ve been more emotional on these occasions than usual, although the horrific slaughter of innocents is a lot for anyone to process. But the faces of the two… Continue reading How does anyone survive the unthinkable?
The cultural gaslighting of moms who miscarry
Two years ago at this time, I was joyfully expecting my first baby. What I didn’t know, and wouldn’t until mid-March, was that my baby girl passed away in my womb, near the end of the first trimester. When I thought I was growing life, my womb carried a corpse instead. It was, and remains,… Continue reading The cultural gaslighting of moms who miscarry
“Joyous despair” is a real thing
The social media algorithms want me to be angry, and there’s certainly no shortage of things to rage over. Headlines are purposely alarmist to get clicks: I know this. I used to be in that line of work. I used to live in a place of perpetual anger, and while I made decent money doing… Continue reading “Joyous despair” is a real thing
“Is this your first?”
Now that I’m more than halfway through pregnancy, I get semi-frequent questions from strangers, starting with: “Is this your first?” It’s a hard question for me. I’d almost rather be asked about breastfeeding or vaccines or other controversial parenting decisions. There’s a distinction in my response to this question, which most people don’t clarify. Lord… Continue reading “Is this your first?”
Horrified but distracted. Empathetic but numb.
While a terrorist group attacked innocent civilians at a concert in Israel, I was probably sleeping. At seven weeks pregnant – the size of my first baby when she was discovered lifeless in my womb at eleven weeks – I was dealing with a fair amount of personal anxiety. And nausea. On a progesterone supplement… Continue reading Horrified but distracted. Empathetic but numb.
Here comes the sun
There was a beautiful double rainbow the afternoon we first saw our baby’s flickering heartbeat. We found out we were expecting again the same week that Hope Elizabeth was supposed to be due. I started the second trimester on my birthday- could not have asked for a better gift. It’s strange to hold grief and… Continue reading Here comes the sun
Grieving antisemitism as a Jewish-born Christian
There’s a strange irony in being a Jewish convert to Christianity. The former community no longer considers me a member, yet the Nazis would. And now, more recently, so would the terrorist group Hamas. I struggled for years with needing external validation for who I am and where I belong. Though accepting it from hate… Continue reading Grieving antisemitism as a Jewish-born Christian
The annoyingly non-linear process of grief
“It won’t always be like this.” I’ve said that to myself, and heard it said to me many times before. But sometimes the recovery feels worse than the impact. It’s something I’ve found to be true in figure skating when learning a new trick that lands me square on my butt, and in life when… Continue reading The annoyingly non-linear process of grief